"At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life."
"Moving on from what we had is going to take a lifetime. Don’t get me wrong—I’m over you and I’m glad we’re moving along separately. Sure, there are still times when I suddenly miss you, but that’s the thing about "moving on": It’s a long and messy one-way road we’re all traveling. We walk, we stumble, we sprint, and we fall, but we continue to move in the same direction: forward. Moving on is a process I’m learning so much from, and I hope you are enjoying the process as much as I do."
5 Signs that you are Falling out of Love that may be reversed
1. The things that attracted you to the person are now the source of your irritant.
After years of being together, everything gets old: the jokes that made you fall head-over-heels, his being unaffected when things get difficult, which to you seemed so cool at that time, can now easily set you in a bad mood because you feel he isn’t responsive enough. The perfect hairstyle that takes a while to fix, which you thought looks awesome, is now a waste of time. His budgeting style that you used to admire now seems to be unfit for your lifestyle. You see a lot of wrong things about him that seemed right to you at the beginning of the relationship.
2. The sweet person that you are, no longer exists.
You always take everything in stride. But when he gets mad at you now, you strike back as hard as you can, either verbally or physically. You think that you have to defend yourself from him — as if you are always facing a formidable enemy instead of a loved one. Your default face is always tiger look every time he opens his mouth to say something, and anything he says makes you squirm in disbelief.
3. You badmouth him to other people.
You have always protected him from your family, friends, and other people. But now everything that he does and says that will score you a high point as a victim of the relationship is announced to the world. Even his toilet habits make it fun for you to spill to everyone who is willing to listen to as you spew your deadly poison. You want him to look as bad as you can.
4. You believe in your heart that he is not the same person that you loved.
You are convinced that he has changed, and the change is not very pleasant to you. You think that the person you loved or married has escaped that body a long time ago. You can no longer agree on anything. Most discussions end up in arguments that can last for weeks and weeks.
5. It has become very difficult to forgive him for any little misdeeds he has made.
Your record for his infractions is full. You cannot stand one more mistake. He has asked for forgiveness many times, but it seems to you that he is just repeating the same mistakes.
Falling out of love is not a good feeling; it is a combination of emptiness, feeling of neglect, anger and surrender.
Now ask yourself these following questions: Don’t I love this person anymore? Am I better off without him in my life? Am I ready to see him with other people? Can I see myself without him in my life? If all your answers are no, then maybe you should start the journey to falling in love all over again with the same person…
Every person enters a relationship on the virtue of physical and personality attraction which is dictated by a feeling of attachment and strong emotions. The character is seldom a factor; that is why even convicted criminals get to attract people from outside the prisons, make them fall in love, and get married.
According to Psychology.com, when we are attracted to a person, it could either we are similar in some aspects like education, level of intelligence, beauty, socio-economic standing, or we are exact opposites. We tend to gravitate to the person because of certain qualities that endeared them to us.
But because the situation from the time you have met change, and the different stages in life that you have to face together as partners emerge — it is only natural that you will change too. People have different levels and sense of maturities, and either partner cannot teach that to each other. These are a learned abilities from his upbringing, mixed of values and principles taught by his parents or guardian.
You cannot expect a 17-year-old person to be the same when he is 25 or 35 years old, much less when he reaches 40. The only thing that you can do is accept the person for who he is, and appreciate the good things that he is trying to contribute to the relationship.
It is sad to hear 50-year-olds separating. This should be the time to relax and enjoy life together. Does it mean they endured each other for 25 years and didn’t do anything to rekindle their love for each other? Do not wait until it is too late.
When we are in love, we do not see the flaws and faults of the person. Everything about him is perfect, but when the cloud of romantic love starts to fade and you see the plain person that he is, the nit-picking will begin. Little disappointments will snowball and before you know it, it has grown bigger and you start to fall out of love.
As cliché as it may seem we also have to look in the mirror, and see what we have done with ourselves, and what we have become in response to the person and the relationship we are in. Have we also improved? Have we remained the same person that made us attractive to our partner? Do we always put our best food forward?
Falling out of love does not happen in one day; it is an accumulation of frustrations and failed expectations. Being in love is a decision to feel passionate for the person and the relationship. It is a decision to stay and nurture each other. People oftentimes enter into relationships with an idea of a perfect relationship. Sorry to burst your bubble, but THERE IS NO PERFECT RELATIONSHIP.
A relationship can only be perfect if we have complete acceptance of the person’s imperfections. Imperfections that are damaging such as physical violence and other abuses are out of the question of course.
Difficult situations such as financial challenges, sickness, and other big life events will put to test your love for each other – oftentimes, being in love should also be coupled with mature love for you to be able to hurdle them.
Let’s face it; though problems bring out the best for some people, it can also bring out the worst in others. When you see the person get mad or sulk or altogether panic or not be able to solve the problem, you get disappointed.
No one can be able to sustain that all time high. Like meandering water, relationships will also find its comfortable level. But it isn’t saying that your relationship should lose its spark.
If you are the one who is falling out of love, fall in love again by discovering the new person that he is now. Look for the good things in him; stop the badmouthing. The more you badmouth, the more you will feel alienated from him.
Start with a clean slate. No one is perfect, forgive and move on; do not be stuck in his past mistakes. If he has proven to have changed, then give him a chance.
Find time to do things together as a partner, and not as an individual. Go on dates, watch movies, hold hands, and hug each other often. Feed each other like you use to do. Make the person feel special. Do not wait until someone else falls in love with him."
15 Signs you are not the Marrying Type: So do not Take Anyone for a Ride:
1. You are self-absorbed. Being focused inwardly is not always a bad thing. Some people are more productive if they are assured that what they need and want are well taken cared without the interruption of other people, and their concerns.
2. You feel complete and accomplished despite being single.
You are married to one of the following: your profession, hobby, friends, vocation, charities and other social activities. You do not feel the need to take your life to the next level to avoid personal stagnation. You are assured that what you have now is dynamic even for the long-term.
3. You are not excited about weddings and you feel validated when you hear your married friends having marital problems.
You secretly tell yourself “I am glad I am not the one facing all those troubles.”
4. You cringe at the thought of being tied down to one person for the rest of your life.
You want to enjoy life to the fullest. You like to feel desired by many, but your satisfaction is the fact that you are unconquered. You do not want to commit to one person, and lose the opportunity to meet other people.
5. You enjoy being alone, travelling alone, but like to meet people on the road.
You never feel lonely being alone, you think it is exhilarating, and you feel that you are more recharged when you are away from the crowd. You may have lots of friends and relatives, but you have a world of your own.
6. You cannot imagine sharing your space with anyone.
You do not like other people to touch your things, tell you what furniture to buy, and tell you how to decorate your place.
7. You do not want anyone to interfere with the way you handle your finances and investments.
You are particular with money matters and do not want to be questioned on how you want to spend your money.
8. You cannot see yourself having children.
While some people, who are single, prefer to have a child over a partner – the idea never appeals to you. You feel that they are a big responsibility and will take your time away from your career and self-improvement.
9. You think that the benefits of being single are greater than being married.
Though some people around you are happily married, you always think that singleness is the healthy way to live. Marriage to you is like a prison that will keep you from enjoying life, while the freedom of being single is a bliss.
10. You do not like to share decisions with anyone about your life.
You want to make your own plans without the need to consider others opinion. You do not want to compromise. Major decisions down to the most trivial things are non-negotiable to you.
11. You do not want to support anyone financially.
You want to enjoy the fruits of your hard work solely.
12. You do not want to be responsible for anyone’s emotional and physical needs.
You want to be in charge of matters concerning your sexual needs. You do not want to be obligated or be put in a routine. You do not like the drama that goes with emotional and physical commitment of a marriage.
13. You do not want rules and schedules.
You are a spontaneous person, and do not want a partner to hamper your movement. If you want to be in another place in an instant, you do not have to ask anyone’s permission and worry that someone is waiting for you. You wake up on your own time and go to bed when you want to.
14. You think that marriage will diminish your physical attractiveness.
Some people put too much value on their physical appearance. Some women do not want to destroy their figure by having babies — which eventually might happen when they get married. Men do not want to feel domesticated and husbandly because they will lose their desirability towards the opposite sex. That is why many married men lie about their legal status.
15. You do not see yourself raising your own family – you feel that it is not you.
So if this you — do other people a favor — stay away from marriage, unless you have fully embraced the idea of settling down. Otherwise, you might become the cause of other people’s heartache."
One blustery evening last October, I waited impatiently until the clock tolled midnight and then promptly bought Taylor Swift’s new record on iTunes. I played it in the kitchen, I played it in the car, I played it at the studio, I played it on flights to Japan and back; I just couldn’t keep away from it. Speak Now was the indisputable leader of my “top 5” record list of 2010, which is slightly ironic because the other four albums were abstract experimental/post-rock/ambient works.